Dodie Bellamy does not know my name, but thinks I am a "lovely person" yay! Thank you BB (not home) and Merkoneus (congrats on the book!) for knowing my name. Also thank you anonymous who I can't link to. Or can I? Why do people start blogs and then do nothing?
Was thinking of doing Nicholas' book in red, but now Logan's gonna think I'm copying him...Damn. If I put in some doilies though...
I feel kind of friendly linking to people. Like my version of coming over with a six pack and cooking spagetti.
I read Kiki's Memoirs today.
Was thinking I'm like her because I am poor too, but I'm nothing like her!
The library is trying to get my attention.
The library has tons and tons and tons of Xfiles episodes on dvd. Shelves and shelves, I think it is kind of odd, (so is the giant life size poster of KISS) - I just grabbed one to watch - turns out to be season 5 episodes 9-12-Next I'll do gunsmoke. And then twilight zone- I writing poems using lines from tv shows now. I HATED Gunsmoke as a kid but think it would really cool now. One time I was eating with my boss, my funny boss, in Ming's. And there is an upstairs where all these people go, and it seemed to be only men, and for some reason I was like what's up there, the brothel? And my boss, said what do you think this is, Gunsmoke? It still makes me laugh. I think I put that line in The Unicorns, I liked it so much. I always think this is Gunsmoke. A weird thing about this book 2666, it seems to imply all normal men go to brothels, I find it very odd. Do you, male readers, do you go to brothels? I don't think I, even if a male, would ever, it just seems sort of gross and festering disease and so forth?
Marco invited me to Fluxus something What should I do? I don't entirely understand it...
I think I'm going to be spending every night in NY with a different person. Oh, did that sound slutty? Nonono. But think I should get a big ass traveling backback that I can just cart around. I hope its not difficult and exhausting - maybe I should just wear the same outfit all 5 days...
I watched the episode called Schizogeny last night. Not really the best ever. But I love how Scully made sexual repression sexy...
Buried completely in a vertical position.
He may have had an accomplice.
Ich bin ein auslander
His hazelnut orchard was hit with a blight.
When you fight for air it creates a vacuum.
It looks like Lisa's father was pulled out the window not pushed.
Hey Scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?
Mulder, where's the body?
She's the killer and the victim.
and now I can't stop laughing. I'm so distractable. That is totally a word. cayate computer. must be my period 10 days early, just in time for April fool's. Really, the last time i bled was March 11. Weird. Well I guess its better to just get it all over with so I can get on with my life, can't i just lose all the eggs at once? Oh, I hope I'm not synching with my cubicle mate. uggg. Does that explain why I watched Dazed and Confused, and have been listening to Nirvana (which strangely I know ALL the words to) all week. And I clanged my olive oil against my tea cup and it made this AMAZING sound and I started laughing gleefully. And I dreamt I was on a train. Do trains even exist anymore? Sales tax goes up tomorrow. I caved into the whole gladiator thing. My feet have been hot I had to. any email I get around april fool's for a submission I sent in 2006, from someone who is not the person I sent it to, I'm not buying into that! I think someone hacked into someone else's email or something... I think I have some sort of menstruation-mind disease.
Also funny how I really enjoy doing internet things in public much more than in private, I don't know why. Maybe I stay more on task that way, which of course makes me feel successful. Maybe I like to be watched.
Then I went to the post office and was reading an sfweekly and there is this article about hoarders, so gross, no wonder I have mice, page 2 has a reference to 536 Leavenworth and I live at 550. Ew! Dead cat! I need to move. So then I started thinking about poets and all our books, and are we hoarders of a sort? Its true about my loveless childhood and how I surrounded myself with books to compensate, and now my loveless life still, and I surround myself with books to compensate! Oh and then I finish reading the article, and of course there is a reference to a crazy poet!
When asked whether he has a hard time finding things or getting around, House shook his head no, then turned the conversation to What's Up, his self-published book of poetry, short stories, and songs, and his unsuccessful runs for supervisor in 2004 and mayor in 2007. His slogan: "Let Mr. House put your financial house in order by allowing me to be mayor of San Francisco." He handed over a card that declares him president and CEO of World Financial Services, an unlisted real estate, tax, and poetry business.
I don't think I'm necessarily a hoarder, but I do seem to have piles of things all the time. and I write things on scraps of paper, and then put them in my bag or in piles to later transcribe, or paste in my notebooks. So that is sort of neurotic. And so was thinking of bringing in my boxes and boxes of chapbooks somewhere to sell, maybe David at Books & Bookshelves would buy some, but I do also think of them as like buying mutual funds, I pay $5 or even $8 now, but years and years from now it could be worth $50!
She always has spooky videos. Of course I want to start wearing blue mascara and crying a lot now.
Finally am starting reading my first dusie year 3 received chap. I've been so behind! And I just got Susana's Herso, which there is not yet a goodreads page for; it is like half the size of my bed, I guess I won't take that one on the bus!
I'm getting my hair cut with Linda at 3 today. I just made the appointment online, which is weird. I always have such turmoil about haridresser's. She is quiet and doesn't talk a lot, so that is cool.
This was in January when my skin was awful, I can see the proactiv is working now! But I loved that haircut, I hope she does something similar!
I planned out if I write a poem a day, by the time I am 40 I will have 9 books. I planned them all out. Some are like 64 pages, some are 200. The way Silliman complains or whatever that no women have big poetry projects the way men do, I planned this out, and if I do it, I will prove him wrong, or be what he wants me to be, but in the process it also made me realize how irrelevant it is to do that or to not do that, and why does a long life project make the poetry more important or whatever, I don't know. Joanne Kyger's poetry is important, as a life project, but just that she has written them all from her life not that it is a “life-project” like the Cantos or “A” . The difference seems to be what is plotted and planned and like the poet directing the poetry, and the other way of the poet following the poetry, which seems more Duncanesque, and thus more evolved really. So maybe I won't do it, but I could so easily, just do it. Or not, I could easily not do it. It totally doesn't matter whether I do it or not. So anyway, I missed writing the prose poems so I started it again, but to do it differently, and not to be in a conversation with Silliman or anything, but just because it is a form I haven't tried, I am writing the prose not as short prose poem blocks, but just straight up prose like it will look like nonfiction prose, until you read it. And then I don't know what you will think. I am separating them out in case I change my mind with ||| marks, what do you call those?
Hearing an economist on the radio this morning, saying the opposite of whatshername, who said we should all save save save to get out of credit card debt, because that is what got us in this mess, spending what we don't have. But this person, said that if we are all saving saving, prices will deflate so much we will end up in a 30's era depression. So we should spend some get some loans, use credit some, just not at the crazy extent of what had gone before. And so I was thinking, yeah if we don't spend anything, then the only businesses that won't collapse will be the most vital to our existence, grocery stores, or something. So I went shopping. Oh my god did I ever. I'm bad bad bad and I love it!
Modality of temptation. I can't get the water hot enough. The salt will not dissolve. The immediate is the confused. If definition is a vitality. Vitality is without truth. The secret in words and consciousness is an act of stripping away. What we must forget. Science on its knees. As irrelevant as men. Only the inessential can explain vapors. The trouble we trouble ourselves with and the bliss on the ceiling. My conditioner is almost out. I deserve TV and videogames.||| The thing that I see, is not. Nor becomes neither. The other woman is not this woman. The first thing I see with is not my eyes. Realizing finally how finalities are beginnings. The end has been reached, and it is a relief, and it means you are done, even if you didn't win. A partial unity. This world is not sensible, and so everyone's clothes are being torn off. These multiple worlds that we are at the limit of. I am becoming torn apart in the process and should probably step back now. We were previously in the present moment but are not any longer. A princess synchronicity. A princess is a type of government (Kunin).||| What you want, what you are, and what something else is. I have come this far, steady going nowhere. If I have defined you I have obliterated you. Do I have permission? Finding out what exists because I have a ruler. The general is expansive. Put in italics every word that begins with “O”. The lightbulb keeps coming on but it is not a real source of light. Authority stuck behind a desk. Explaining infinity to my boss. Abducted by nonexistence. The cousin of facts says goodbye. ||| The end result of coming to a conclusion. Having paid off all my bills, I must start all over again. Playstation wallpaper being painted on. The sign that means sort of equal. The meaninglessness of decontextualization. Wanting to buy cookies for everyone. If I could turn off the intuitive software. Regarding trombones. The unlived unexperience. How the tables run off stealing pockets of laughter. You can't be two things at once, but I can. |||